Tapassya

An invisible presence approached him. He could feel it but thought it would just be a rendition of his psy trip, his indulgence.  The invisible held his hand, literally the irresistible invisible took him along and He willingly went with it, for never to be back again.

He lived for forever in the lap of the grace of that invisible entity. In the jungles He could hear her songs, he could smell her presence, the warmth of her breath, the surge of motherly compassion in her touch. The extraordinary invisible…his friend, his love, his mother, his child…Tapassya.

~

26 April 2017, Wednesday

Taking the form of the formless

“This existence is a layered reality. Every layer has its persona, its own grid. The environment of existence could be mesh of all such intersecting, overlapping of infinite grids. Our identification with Self is our acknowledgement to one of such grids that we see our reflection in. Our evolution is relative transitions from one grid to another, that makes us feel life ‘a-new’ or ‘leveled up’. But real transcendence is far beyond ‘level up’. It is about ‘not identifying’ with any such grid, or even the very mother mesh of such grids. It is like taking the form of the formless. You get it my friend?” He laughed.

He struck a chord that sustained in the music room for about half a minute. ‘Taking the form of the formless’.

~

26 April 2017, Wednesday

The Sound & the Silence.

What is worth spending time with! what is the best thing to occupy his mind and the best food for thought, the best canvas to render his imagination, the little aspirations; to share his being where He happens to find Self…? without a doubt it is…

‘The Sound & the Silence.’

He dared to share his ventures with his family, the Sun; his father, the Moon; his mother. The father said ‘only if you could stand by yourself & feed your being, I wish you sunlight; that shall bring you clarity’. The mother had tears in her eyes, she said, ‘I had expect little more from you, always. Your limited imagination disappoints me, always. Yet I wish you moon vibes; that shall transcend your being.’

Now, he wanders & wonders. Watching sunset & the moonrise, moonset & the sunrise. Spending time with the Sound and the Sound of the silence, with the Silence and the Silence of the silence.

Like he ever/never had a choice! But to live his truth, to be at peace, to share his happiness and to express his love; through…

‘The Sound & the Silence.’

~

16 April 2017, Sunday

Life is such. Such is life. Is life such !?

Here He sensed the need to have a confrontation, dialogue with the supreme.

Everyday life so far has been a real comfort with respect to basic necessities of life that is food, shelter, clothes, other worldly comforts, music gear & musical instruments, vehicles, some money for unreasonable expenditures. He felt blessed yet He knew He haven’t earned it at all. It is certainly not a fruit of his efforts and engagements with the world. He never saved money, He haven’t professionally  worked since  last 4 years or so. He managed to live this beautiful life full of abundance by the grace of His Guru, either with his father’s hard earned money,  his credit card or with the help of his real brother who has been producer, provider for all the equipment He ever required to create or produce music. And of course with loving help from his good close friends. Having it all, he did tried.To put it in his words, “I did justice to all the music that can happen through me, spent all my time with the thoughts of music and exploring various  musical & sound possibilities.” But He never did put efforts in producing music. He always dreamed of doing it though, of having an authentic record label, and producing timeless music. He have left it to the wish of Bholenath if at all it can happen through him. Universe has his plans.

He would say, “Universe has given me so much it made me think every time of a single doubt ‘Do I deserve this!’ or is it like it’s the fruit of past life karmas that I am being extravagant to spend it all for my justified pleasures. It’s been a long while, I haven’t been putting any efforts to make things happen, I have lost the equation of deciding on something and doing it. I have been just riding the wave and I loved my life regardless of any judgement. Is it being shameless and to run away from responsibilities! It is exactly that and to add to it, it’s a mind trip that feeds the inertia. What to do! What to say! Where to go! Whom to talk to!”

Of Course with His Guru the supreme self.

He has nothing to say to this world or nothing to hear from the world as well. In most of the situations He finds himself out of place with a sense of disconnect from the situation he is in, while he is around life. “But in the lap of my mother nature I feel love.“, He often would express.

He shared all that is happening within, “Anyway this dialogue is to figure out little guidelines with which life is to be lived, for me. Irrespective of the situation or phase I am in, few things those have just become part of my physical life activity, like watching sunrise & sunset, moon bathing, swimming, music listening, singing, spending time with musical instruments, reading, writing, daily chores like cooking, cleaning, watering the plants, cleansing of the self. Though I love my everyday life and I happen to seamlessly fit in this joyful existence here, I could not earn it all. All of the above doesn’t fetch me any money or life fuel for the mundane worldly world, in fact I end up spending all that which is not even mine or earned by me. My issue is not this though, my issue with myself is that I am just looking for that little opening from the world around and within, that little opening to participate in this world doing justice to its grace. Doing something or anything that is truth, peace, love bound. It does no harm to anyone, specially to my mother nature, her life-forms and humanity. Something small or big which will put a joyous smile on the face of my Hari Hara.  What could be that? How can it happen?”

“It is required to happen just because I see there is no turning back from here. I have wandered too far to even think of going back and I sense my Guru’s presence somewhere nearby. It makes my eyes watery and then I sing Bhajans. The real Solace.”

Life is such. Such is life. Is life such !?

~

12 April 2017, Wednesday.